Being Cool Online

I've always wanted to be cool online. Some people seem like they have life all figured out on the internet and social media. Do you have any friends that are really cool online? I haven't yet figured out how to be cool online, but if I do I'll let you know.

I have some friends online that will get 300-500 likes on a status or a picture. I've always wondered what that must feel like. Is there a certain amount of likes that can cure insecurity? I've always wondered underneath the filters and long quote if that person is truly satisfied.

I got a taste of Internet fame back in 2014. I was seventeen at the time and thought I had the whole world figured out. I wrote a post on the benefits of singleness on Valentines Day in 2014. http://bryceskistad.blogspot.com/2014/02/single.html I was pleased with the overall response and that I could offer a sense of encouragement to other hopeless romantics.

A couple weeks later I saw a post from a pastor that I followed on Twitter at the time. This pastor was looking for articles to publish on his new website. The website was centered on faith, culture, and purpose. I read the requirements and decided I would submit my most recent post on singleness.

A month later I was in the bathroom taking care of business. I was scrolling through my Twitter feed and I saw an article about singleness. Like any single person would do, I opened the article hoping to find the secret formula to cure singleness. I started reading the article and thought to myself, "Someone stole my article. This is everything I wrote a month ago." As I got to the bottom of the article I saw: this post was submitted by Bryce Skistad.

After I found out my post was published I did that awkward happy dance white people do when they are really excited. As the days passed by the post got over 1,700 likes, was shared by over 140 people on Facebook and had almost 200 retweets on Twitter. The pastor published it on all his social media networks and on the magazine's social media networks. I thought I was on top of the world. I thought I made it in this whole writing thing. I thought to myself, "What other seventeen year old is being published in a magazine." My pride inflated like my stomach when I have too many loaded potato grillers from Taco Bell.

All of the likes and shares ended up being a disaster. People were commenting on the posts saying they really enjoyed it and it was just what they needed. I became content in the worst way. For someone who loves the approval of other people, this was a nightmare. Approval is a lover who will always break your heart. It's like going after that person who was way out of your league in high school. You loved the idea of it, but the reality of it was always disappointing.

Guess what? That website doesn't even exist anymore. You can't view the article anywhere besides on my blog. More than likely everyone that liked it or shared it has forgotten about it. Being cool online is so temporary. People are always coming out with new content. The news today becomes an afterthought tomorrow.

The amount of time I have invested into maintaining a cool online image is ridiculous. There have been numerous things that I have wanted to post online, but didn't simply because I didn't think they would get a lot of likes. I didn't follow more than 100 people on Twitter for the longest time because popular people don't follow a lot of people. Social media for me a majority of the times has only been about the likes. You're on a huge downward spiral the moment you start sacrificing who you are to impress the people around you. I'd compare my likes and followers to my closet friends. It makes me sick because I've spent a lot of time trying to fit into a world that doesn't even exist.

Social media makes us either incredibly overconfident or astonishingly insecure. Don't build your identity around it. It's a weak foundation that won't last.

I can't make a lot of promises, but I promise that there will always be someone that is cooler than you online. People have better cameras, filters, and google search skills than you do. Put more effort into being cooler in person than being cool online. At the end of the day, there is no amount of internet attention that brings full contentment.

Leaving The Diving Board

When I was a little kid I had a huge fear of jumping off the diving board. I don't know what triggered this fear, but I was terrified of diving boards. I think it was from a scene in the movie Aladdin when Aladdin gets thrown into water and almost drowns. For anyone who didn't watch Aladdin growing up—you missed out.

I remember being the kid looming over the end of the diving board at pools. I'll never forget one time I was at a private pool with my mom and my grandma. I was talking to my grandma and I completely lost track of my mom. While talking to my grandma I was standing at the end of the diving board and out of no where I felt a light push on my back. Next thing I know, I'm under water. For a second I thought I was going home to be with Jesus. I finally rose from the water after what seemed like a lifetime. I came out of the water—spitting it out of my mouth, blowing it out of my nose, and bawling my eyes out. I told my mom I would never talk to her again. Haven't we all done that once or twice?

Shortly after I was done throwing a fit—I didn't stop jumping off the diving board until later that evening.

Fear loves to hold us back from a lot of things that are fun. Fear screams all the negatives that can happen and whispers the positives. A lot of times we listen to the screams. Don't listen to the loudest voice—listen to the truest. I think sometimes we can believe the lie of fear—at least I know I can.

Fear loves to paint messy pictures that aren't true. Fear will tell you the pool is seventy feet deep when it is only seven.

I think we need to jump into the pool more. The pool of life, relationships, community, and dreams. We need to experience authentic relationships and community. How many times have you not jumped into the pool or took a risk? I once heard that, "The risks we don't take will be our biggest regrets." I can't tell you how many ideas I've had, but was afraid of criticism. How much love I've wanted to share, but was afraid of rejection. Even Facebook statuses I've wanted to post, but I was too afraid it would not get enough likes. I think in a way we destroy fear by authenticity and being comfortable in our own skin. We become comfortable in our own skin by developing an intimate relationship with Jesus.

I once read in the Bible that perfect loves casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). I don't know about you, but I want that.

I wonder how many times fear has kept people standing on the edge of the diving bored. In order to live life to the fullest we need to leave the diving board. What's the pool you're not jumping into?

Sometimes you can't jump in the pool right away—first you need to dip your feet in. Whatever you do just do something; baby steps are still steps. No matter what you do, tie your suit tight. When you're facing fear you're going to get wet.

Partially Partial

Nice smile, big biceps, wide hips, nice body, the characteristics are endless. There are a lot of things that draw us to people. Maybe it's physical attraction, personality, their sense of humor, or maybe a common interest. Have you noticed that we favor some people over others? I have noticed that I can be immensely partial. By partial I mean that I frequently favor certain people over others.

My own partiality makes me want to cringe. A few of you are going to laugh, but I want to be honest and transparent with you. I want to give you a few examples. First, it's unquestionably easy for me to hold the door open for the attractive lady, but I'll close the door or keep going on with my business if I'm not attracted to her. Second, it's effortless for me to go and chat with the popular group, but I constantly overlook the unpopular group. Third, it's child's play for me to hang out with people that can give me something in return; if I can't get anything from it, a majority of the time I'll avoid the group. These are just a few of my own. I think as individuals we all have have our own unique partialities.

I think it is interesting that the Bible has a lot to say about partiality as well.

Romans 2:11-For there is no partiality with God.

Proverbs 24:23-It is not good to show partiality in judgement.

James 2:1-7 (1) My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? (2) For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. (3) If you give attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, "You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor"—well, (4) doesn't this discrimination show the judgments are guided by evil motives? (5) Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn't God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in the faith? Aren't they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him? (6) But you dishonor the poor! Isn't it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? (7) Aren't they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name you bear?

James 2:9-But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin.

If day by day we are trying to become more like Jesus, we need to eliminate the partiality from our lives.

Want to know where your character is? How you treat people who can do nothing for you says a lot about you and where your heart is.

One of my favorite characteristics about Jesus is how he didn't show favoritism. He was friends with fishermen and tax collectors. He could have been friends with anyone. He could have been friends with any king or any celebrity back in his day. But his posse consisted of fishermen, a tax collector, and even someone who he knew would later on betray him.

Jesus didn't care about titles. He never hung out with the cool people, but he relentlessly pursued the uncool. That's cool.

I Am With You

"I am with you." These are some of the most encouraging and comforting words anyone can hear. It's amazing what you can do when you have people in your corner that support you.

I love "The Great Commission." The Great Commission was Jesus's last command to the disciples. It can be found in both the Gospel Matthew and the Gospel Mark.

Matthew 28:18-20 "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. (19) Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, (20) teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

These verses are not only essential to the Christian faith, but they're also the mission of the church.

There is a specific part of one verse that I want to focus on. In verse 20 the last thing that Jesus says is "I am with you". I think it is interesting that the words "I am with you" were some of his last words. I don't think it's an accident either. I think not only did he want his disciples to know that, but he wanted us to know too. Notice how after he says, "I am with you," he states he is with us to the end of the age. I love that. It's soothing, it's refreshing, and most of all it's freeing.

He isn't only with us on Sunday morning or Wednesday night—he is with us every second, everyday, every week, every month, every year, our lifetime, and for eternity. The fact that the God of the universe is with us in every thing we do, not just the normal mundane activities is revitalizing. If we let that fact sink in, it has the capacity to change our whole lives.

If Jesus could have only one conversation with us, I think he would tell us that not only he is for us, but that he is with us as well. I don't think he would tell us how mad he is at some stupid sin we committed—he would tell us how much he loves us. He wouldn't tell us how much of a failure we are because we didn't get enough likes on Facebook or Instagram. If Jesus had social media he would be double tapping your pictures on Instagram, liking your Facebook status's, and retweeting your tweets. He wouldn't be saying how ugly or inadequate we are.

Jesus loves us right now, just as we are. He is swimming in the deepest parts of our life. He is fixing what is broken. And he is restoring what has been abused. He is not screaming to work harder, try harder, or be more holy—but rather I think he is whispering "trust me, I will never leave you or forsake, I am with you."

Don't get me wrong—sin is bad. Really bad. Not only does it hurt us, but it hurts others. It also draws us away from the Lord. The Bible tells is over and over that sin is bad and that we are all going to do it (Romans 3:23). The thing about sin is that Jesus sees our sin more than anyone, yet he still loves us more than anyone. Our badness does not change God's goodness.

Paul tells us in Romans 5, "Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more." Not only did that apply to the people of Rome, but it also applies with is today.

I believe whole-heartily that Jesus wants everyone to know that he is with us. Heck, I think he even wants us to let other people know that we are with them too.

Giving is Living

How is everyone doing? It's been 3 months since my last post. A lot has changed since then, but the biggest transition has been being in college. Life is weird on your own. It's a good weird and a bad weird. I don't know if weird is a good word to use, but we'll go with it. I like being on my own, but I miss the little things quite a bit. I miss my home, my family, home cooked meals, giving wedgies to my little brothers, old friends, my home church, having someone else do my laundry, and last but not least driving my junky little pick-up truck.

I'm learning how to live with two other grown men. I've been blessed with two incredible roommates who I consider best friends already. Everyday with them is a party. I've also learned how to my do own laundry. My parents would be so proud. I'm thankful for tide pods and color catchers. They make doing laundry dummy proof.

On a serious note, I want to share just a few things I've been learning:

-Selfish decisions almost always have consequences.

-Time management is everything.

-We can't point out problems and not give solutions.

-Doing or saying the right thing with the wrong motives is always the wrong thing.

-To truly make an impact in almost anything you have to get messy.

-It's impossible to laugh too much.

-Words either lift people up to a mountain top or drive them down to the ocean floor.

-Taking risks is a good thing. Taking no risks is the biggest risk of all.

Alright lets get to the point. I've been going to Cedar Valley Church for the past 2 months. I've been a leader in their junior high youth group for a little over a month now. It's been a learning experience. It's difficult jumping into a new scene. Not knowing very many of the other leaders as well as not knowing any of the kids was not only different, but uncomfortable. I'm starting to like uncomfortable situations because that's usually when God shows up and does something miraculous. Now that I've been there for a little over month, I'm starting to love Paradigm. I'm excited to be able to play a part in this wonderful ministry!

Last Wednesday, I sat by a 7th grade boy and what he did blew me away. The offering plate was going around and it finally came to him, out of the corner of my eye I saw him take out all of the cash in his wallet and put it in the offering. It wasn't just a penny or a dime— it was $5, $10, and $20 bills. I was blown away. It was every dollar he had in his wallet. To be able to give so freely and cheerfully at that young of an age blew me away. The amount of faith and sacrifice he showed impacted me in a way that I will never forget.

The bible verse Malachi 3:10 instantly came to my head, "Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do, says the Lord of Heaven's Armies, I will open the heavens for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!"

In this verse, I love how God invites us to out give him. It's kinda like a never ending game of Bigger and Better. The thing is about this game is God always wins. He is always giving us bigger and better.

I really feel like God was speaking to me in this moment about giving.What if we started being reckless about our giving? Not only in giving money, but in giving time, love, and our all. So often we put limits on how much we give to people. Giving is dangerous and it will cost us, but I think the only way we can give is to give more than we can afford. Once we truly start giving we'll start living.
 

Best Seller

One habit I've really gotten into this year is reading. I've read more in 2014 than I have in my whole life. Maybe I'm entering a mid life crisis—I'm not sure. There's many reasons why I like reading. Reading lets us know that we're not alone, it grows our knowledge, and it lets us escape to a world different than what we are accustomed to.

As I was reading this thought came into my head, "if my life was published into a book would it be a best seller or would it never leave the shelf? Would it inspire people? Would people want to buy my book and look into all my stories, adventures, and how I lived my life—or would they just move forward and go on with their life?

This thought hit me pretty hard. I asked myself, "am I living my life to the fullest and making the most out of every opportunity, or am I wasting my time?"

What's holding you back from living out your best seller? Is it fear, failure, a person, acceptance, your past, or maybe even family criticism? I'm not sure what it is, but whatever it is—drop kick it out of your life. You'll be glad you did. I promise—pinky promise. There's a unique freedom that comes when we be ourselves.

I think everyone of us at the end of our lives could have a best seller, but here's the catch—so many times something gets in the way. We end up taking a wrong turn or we get caught up in the traffic. Maybe someone discouraged you, maybe you screwed up pretty bad, or maybe you believed the lie that you weren't good enough.

It doesn't matter what you've done in the past, starting today you can create your best seller. I encourage you to take risks. The bigger the risk—the greater the story, no risk=no reward, and the greatest risk is taking no risk at all. At the end of the day, I think the things that we didn't do will haunt us more than the things we did do. Be spontaneous, enjoy the journey, try new things, find ways to love people authentically, and most importantly be yourself.

As soon as you're born your book begins. From your first breathe till your last breathe you have the opportunity to construct a best seller. Is your life worth telling stories about? Are you creating a best seller or a dust collector?

Messed Up

Recently I went to a music festival with a group of my closet friends. We had a great time camping, enjoying the music, and doing some adventuring. There was one thing that really stuck out about the concert. One of my favorite bands NEEDTOBREATHE said, "A lot of bands come up here and talk about what they were like when they were messed up, we're still messed up." They went on to talk about how they went through a rough stretch as a band and how they almost broke up. That quote in general just really hit me pretty hard.

Sometimes I wonder if we celebrate Halloween more than once a year. So many people put on a different mask daily. Personally, some times I can be one of them. Some days I'm feeling really hurt and broken. I'll feel mutilated on the inside, but I don't want to show weakness to anybody else, so I keep going on with my day, kinda just wallowing in my own pain. Isn't that pathetic? I know there's a lot of people that probably do something similar.

I feel like so often we always avoid talking about what we used to be like or how messed up we really are. We're afraid to admit what we struggle with. We put 100 pad locks on our problems hoping no locksmith will come and open them up. We don't want anyone to know about our deepest pains, endeavors, or secrets.

What I think we often miss is that there are people all around facing a lot of the same issues that we are facing. Life is so much better together. It's a lot easier to defeat an issue with an army than by yourself. Problems are so much easier to face when you have other people in your corner cheering you on. The problem is most of the people that are closest to us don't know we are going through some nasty stuff. We're all broken people on the same broken team. No one is better than anyone else, we're all equal.

C.S. Lewis once said, "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." Your pain can give the people around you hope.

As I look back at older posts—I realize that most of things I write about are things I go through personally. Some of the posts include: living for acceptance, love, failure, past issues, selfish desires, encouragement, singleness, etc. Feel free to check some of them out.

I want to open up to you a little bit. I never want to come across as a guy or a writer that has it all together or that thinks he has it all together. I'm a broken dude. I write a positive blog, have positive content on my social media pages, I'm going to college to be a pastor, and I plan on publishing some books someday. Guess what? I struggle with a bunch of stuff and some days I can be as emotional as a teenage girl.

Whenever it comes to my dreams, family, friends, and faith I can get extremely sensitive. I'm really passionate about the things I love. Just ask my family or my closest friends. I wrestle with fear. The fear of not being "good enough." The fear of not living up to my own expectations and dreams. The fear of disappointing my family. I struggle with bitterness. I struggle with forgiving and loving those who've hurt me the most. I struggle with being judgmental. These are some of my biggest issues and the things that keep me awake at night.

I'm learning that it's okay to messed up. I came to the conclusion that I'd rather admit that I'm messed up than pretend to be perfect. It's okay to not be okay—just don't stay there. Share your pain, get help, do whatever you have to do. There's grace and second chances when we admit our short comings. There's no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.

Do you have someone in your life that needs to read this? Feel free to share it with them, more importantly be an ear for them.