Messed Up

Recently I went to a music festival with a group of my closet friends. We had a great time camping, enjoying the music, and doing some adventuring. There was one thing that really stuck out about the concert. One of my favorite bands NEEDTOBREATHE said, "A lot of bands come up here and talk about what they were like when they were messed up, we're still messed up." They went on to talk about how they went through a rough stretch as a band and how they almost broke up. That quote in general just really hit me pretty hard.

Sometimes I wonder if we celebrate Halloween more than once a year. So many people put on a different mask daily. Personally, some times I can be one of them. Some days I'm feeling really hurt and broken. I'll feel mutilated on the inside, but I don't want to show weakness to anybody else, so I keep going on with my day, kinda just wallowing in my own pain. Isn't that pathetic? I know there's a lot of people that probably do something similar.

I feel like so often we always avoid talking about what we used to be like or how messed up we really are. We're afraid to admit what we struggle with. We put 100 pad locks on our problems hoping no locksmith will come and open them up. We don't want anyone to know about our deepest pains, endeavors, or secrets.

What I think we often miss is that there are people all around facing a lot of the same issues that we are facing. Life is so much better together. It's a lot easier to defeat an issue with an army than by yourself. Problems are so much easier to face when you have other people in your corner cheering you on. The problem is most of the people that are closest to us don't know we are going through some nasty stuff. We're all broken people on the same broken team. No one is better than anyone else, we're all equal.

C.S. Lewis once said, "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." Your pain can give the people around you hope.

As I look back at older posts—I realize that most of things I write about are things I go through personally. Some of the posts include: living for acceptance, love, failure, past issues, selfish desires, encouragement, singleness, etc. Feel free to check some of them out.

I want to open up to you a little bit. I never want to come across as a guy or a writer that has it all together or that thinks he has it all together. I'm a broken dude. I write a positive blog, have positive content on my social media pages, I'm going to college to be a pastor, and I plan on publishing some books someday. Guess what? I struggle with a bunch of stuff and some days I can be as emotional as a teenage girl.

Whenever it comes to my dreams, family, friends, and faith I can get extremely sensitive. I'm really passionate about the things I love. Just ask my family or my closest friends. I wrestle with fear. The fear of not being "good enough." The fear of not living up to my own expectations and dreams. The fear of disappointing my family. I struggle with bitterness. I struggle with forgiving and loving those who've hurt me the most. I struggle with being judgmental. These are some of my biggest issues and the things that keep me awake at night.

I'm learning that it's okay to messed up. I came to the conclusion that I'd rather admit that I'm messed up than pretend to be perfect. It's okay to not be okay—just don't stay there. Share your pain, get help, do whatever you have to do. There's grace and second chances when we admit our short comings. There's no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.

Do you have someone in your life that needs to read this? Feel free to share it with them, more importantly be an ear for them.