Selfie

I love seeing selfies—plain and simple. The more I see the harder I laugh. I've only posted one selfie and that was back when I was in 9th grade (it's been deleted for a long time don't even waste your time looking for it). I'm going to give you my official guide for taking the best selfie.

1) You need a good camera. Let's be honest, the camera makes the picture. Lighting and editing is also crucial. Always edit the ugly out so you look like a completely different person. If in the picture you look nothing like you do in real life—you're doing it right.

2) The duck face needs to be mastered. Don't even attempt to take a selfie unless your duck face is perfect. You're just wasting your time and everybody else's.

3) Guys this is for you in particular. Make sure you flex every part of your body. If you have big biceps flex like you've never flexed before. If you have a six-pack... make sure you show it off. If in the picture you look like you need to go to the bathroom—you're doing it right. Nobody will judge you. Well...

4) A good mirror is a must. You need something to reflect your impeccable beauty. I'd start with your bathroom mirror in your house. The bathroom pic is a classic. If your mirror is below average you're just setting yourself up for failure. Nobody likes failure.

5) The more awkward the place—the better the selfie. Bathrooms are tremendous places. Nothing is more appealing than a picture in a public rest room. Anybody bring the toilet paper?

6) Last but not least—you need a long quote. The quote seals the deal. If you're quote is under 50 words long—you're doing it wrong. People love long, sappy, and depressing quotes. The more irrelevant the quote the better the picture. The quote will seal a solid ten Facebook likes alone.

Say cheese!